A new song

(Chorus:)
Bye bye love
Bye bye happiness, hello loneliness
I think I’m-a gonna cry-y
Bye bye love, bye bye sweet caress, hello emptiness
I feel like I could di-ie
Bye bye my love goodby-eye

There goes my baby with-a someone new
She sure looks happy, I sure am blue
She was my baby till he stepped in
Goodbye to romance that might have been

(Chorus)

I’m-a through with romance, I’m a-through with love
I’m through with a’countin’ the stars above
And here’s the reason that I’m so free
My lovin’ baby is through with me

(Chorus)

Bye bye my love goodby-eye
Bye bye my love goodby-eye
Bye bye my love goodby-eye
Bye bye my love goodby-eye

One song that invariably starts playing in my head when I leave home. I am going this time not knowing when I will return. Met most of my friends this time. It was good fun. But there are those who weren’t able to make it and they will be sorely missed. I am not distraught. Feeling sad, yes. I do want to focus on the good side of things to keep myself going.

Moving on to something new. Something truly challenging. Something out of a dream. Scary. I will do my best. I’ve thought of what I imagine could be the worst-case-scenario. It will be devastating. But I know I can emerge from that as well. There is more to life. More than one can ever imagine. I might run through a zillion possible situations in my head, and tell myself, “I’ve thought of everything!” Then, as they say, Life happens! Life has always managed to surprise me. Sometimes pleasantly and sometimes it’s been a rude shock. May be a reminder that we are only Human.

I think it is time for a new song…

Feels like home…

I woke up this morning to the warm sunshine of Bangalore. I smelt the yummy aroma of my mom’s cooking and heard dad sing along with AIR. I turned around to see the clear blue sky. Got out of bed to see the city waking up from my 11th floor apartment. Beautiful.

I took the longest shower I could. Watched white cranes fly past as I stood in my balcony reminiscing about how hectic the past few years had been for me. I relished my breakfast as the maid was having a heart-to-heart with Mom.  I sat before the television wondering what to watch. It’s been close to 4 years since I followed something ardently. I surfed the channels aimlessly.

Got to my comp, checked my mail. Chatted with friends back in enuP. Facebooked, Shaadi.comed, orkutted, yawned, blogged.

Yes, this is the break I wanted.

Kabaadi!

Yuck YuckYuckYuckYuckYuck YuckYuckYuckYuckYuck YuckYuckYuckYuckYuck YuckYuckYuckYuck

 

Yuck YuckYuckYuckYuckYuck YuckYuckYuckYuckYuck YuckYuckYuckYuckYuck YuckYuckYuckYuck

 

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Need I say more?? In case you are wondering, the movie I watched was “Dil Kabbadi” for 80 bucks in a sidey theatre!

 

 

Gareeb Bachche ke Ajeeb Sapne

The title is not my own, so I wont take credit for that. It is lifted directly from an sms fwd that is being sent around.

So the ‘P’ scene is pathetic. Make that PATHETIC!

The bright side of the matter is that this is probably the best of setting up a business of your own!

I have some ideas.

1. Kheti-baadi!

The “evergreen” occupation. As long as the human race walks  the planet, they will eat. And when all the animals are gone, they will eat plants. Even now, they like some grains with their meat. So it is a good idea to plough the field and sow the seeds…(Isn’t that all there is farming? ) I know I am not cut out for hard labour, but “Desparate times need desparate measures!” Who knows, I just might bring about Green Revolution 2.0 which is long overdue!

2. Housekeeping, if you please!

My gang of gals and I are considering offering our services to keep houses. We’d do the dishes and the laundry, vacuum your homes and baby-sit your kids. And who better than MBAs to give you that professional touch! (No, no we are keeping this strictly platonic!)

3. Hobby Shop.

Amongst some 5-6 of us friends, there are pottery skills and cooking, art and crochet, embroidery and stitching. We could even teach you singing and dancing, Bollywood style! If you don’t know what hobby to take up, we’d throw in a pay-by-the-hour counselling session as well. So we are hoping you are really dumb and confused to know what to do with your free time OR just find our faces charming enough to keep looking at as the clock ticks!

4. Homework.com

We’ll do everyone’s homework, kindergarten to MBA, we’ve been diligent little kids and will do so for others now. Our credentials? Well, for generations, people have been copying our stuff and passing it off as their own. Did you ever guess? Nah! No one can tell. Even if they can, they wont care! So let us know when you get a task and we’ll finish in record time! We’d charge by volume. So hope your teachers love giving you lot of Homework!

5. Catch-me-if-you-can Money!

I am a print engineer. Where else can my skills be used better? Fake money? Nah! It’s just different. It would have all the security features that most people don’t know about! Do I have the expertise? Noch! “I am good with Google!”[Refer: Mad Money, the film]

I thought I would have more ideas but I don’t! Shit!

if you can think of more suggestions please feel free to let me know. The help will be greatly appreciated. Now I have to go walk the Director’s dog, “Here Cindy, Cindy! Here, Blind doggie!”

Morning Movie!

I am up. I am up. This is the best time. The time immediately after exams and before the start of the next semester. I have nothing to do. I am up to go watch a movie in the morning!

There is a multiplex here called E2(I can’t figure out how to put the 2 in superscript! I can catch a movie at 50 bucks in the morning! I watched Quantum of So Less for the same amount and felt alright. Which movie am I going for? 2 Gays, A Girl and a Paratha Place. (Go figure!) I would have wanted to watch the movie a double ‘v’ with Rahman’s music. I can’t stand Saleman Can(t) and A-Nil Kapot. I dunno why Miss K is still with him.

This is what I think the 1st conversation between Mr Rapidly-Balding-Saved-by-Transplant-Surgery and Miss I-am-every-guy’s-fantasy would have gone.

SK: O, Goddess of Beauty, O, International Model, O, Another-woman-who-is-taller-than-I,…

KK: Hey, isn’t this some sort of Indian prayer?

SK:Err…yeah..no…but..yeah… I am worshipping you…

KK: You disgust me! What do you want?

SK: Heard you are thinking about making an entry in Bollywood? I am the guy for you?

KK: <Burst out laughing…uncontrolably> <When she recovers> Say that again!

SK: I am your guy! I can get you in! Just let me be your boyfriend, Babee!

KK: BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s good!

SK: Ok! Please tell only the press that you are my girlfirend and all you have to do is sit with me in CCD sometimes. Please, please, please. I beg you.

KK: Alright, already. So what do I get?

SK: Everyone I know in the industry will be at your disposal. I promise.

KK: Alright.

Eggs-Hams

They are highly irritating. I think I have grown out of them. Never really liked them. If I was prepared for them, I would feel nice if they went off well. If I wasn’t, I hated them even more.

Why they have to be friggin’ memory tests, I don;t understand. The Case Study is touted as the B-School way of testing depth and spread of knowledge. But if you make a joke out of that, it doesn’t serve the purpose. For instance, one of our papers this time had a “case study” of 5 lines. That’s still ok. Did they require to do “profound brain things inside our(my) head”[Ref:Madagascar, the Movie]? No! Just answer for 4 marks. The next case was of 8 lines and the marks alloted were 8! What shit?

The other extreme is one subject called Cases in HR. This had one case of 40 marks. The total marks of the exam? 40! Right! And there is the ridiculous rationale(oxymoron,yes) that you have to fill up pages of the answer-script as per the marks. Does it matter if the answer is good? Not really! I know in some universities, you could write a song, call the examiner an asshole and still get away with it!

Well, if success in an academic semester be judged by such parameters, I am bound to meet with little of it; success that is. Does that mean I am doomed for life? Nah! The richest drop-out in the world is an inspiration to many Why then am I doing an MBA? Playing it safe, I guess! Back-up plan and all…But I thnk I need a Plan B to that as well. Seems like even auto cos can’t hold their own. What with Colonel Motors, can’t afFord and Christ!-tell-her! going down. They are like whiny kids asking for candy even when they just got all their milk teeth extracted as they were rotting with caries! Hmmm. I think I was close to that once . All one needs is a sound beating [Watch Russel Peters on 'White People, Beat your kids!']

The world is never short of nosey people!

Have you ever had someone come home and talk about YOU and YOUR life, like he’s known you forever and “has you best interest at heart?” Have you had some despicable “elders” who say that you are just like their daughter/son? Have you had some stranger coming over and lecturing you in your own house about your lack of spiritual values? If you have, then I am sure you completely agree with the title of this blog.

I’ve been brought up to respect elders and guests. That’s probably the only thing that kept me from flying to scratch my neighbour’s face last night! Dude, you come home. Have a laugh and a chat over a mug of beer with my dad, I don’t mind. But when you take a shot at me and my decisions, I hate it.

The person was told by my mother about my PG plans and how I would be leaving home soon. And the prompt reply that guy came up with was “Why? There are so many schools in this city! “
mom: No, no she got thro’ SMIS!
he: So? It is just down the X Street. I never let my girls get outta my sight!

And then he goes on about how his daughter dearest had graduated from XYZ b-school here. How she topped her class. How her pic came in the papers. And how a dean from the US had flown all the way to just award her the certificate. With of course an offer to go to the US with him for something I can’t remember! Alright. Now what does all this have to do with me? NOTHING!

He doesn’t stop there. He goes on about how his daughters are lossing weight and how my sis and I should do the same. My sis is too sweet and she let herself be lectured by him. Then he decided he needs more audience and called for me. I said I was coming and when no one was looking, slipped into the loo with a book. I do not do this usually. But I was in absolutely no mood for his talk.

I remember when I’d gone to buy my cellphone just before I joined FYIN. And this dude happened to be at the shop buying himself a recharge card! And as my dad and I walked in, Mr Pompous orders the shopkeeper to show us the best in the shop and give us a good deal, etc.,etc much to the surprise of the shopkeeper. Then as I sat down to choose between three models I had shortlisted, he says…”I know how you think! I am sure you are thinking of buying this white one! Right? Right??” NO! I wasn’t. The black one is what I was thinking of and told him “Actually I was thinking about this black one.”
He:Oh yes, yes. I knew it would be black because you have a black watch also, and (looking for other black things in my possession) and.. I know you young people all like black.

Back off!